• by Iris Essences

Intolerable boss?

Finding your boss intolerable? The first step may be something you might not want to do: check to see if there is something about either your performance or attitude that is prompting their behaviour.

Get a review about your performance. If your performance is acceptable, your feedback is good and you’ve confirmed your bosses bullying or abusive behaviour is not about you …..then what?

If your bosses boss are any good at their jobs, they will know this and will be working on a exit strategy for them. In that case, focus on your work and keep a positive attitude.

If you tried to have a heart to heart with your boss and nothing changes you could go over his/her head. Given the way most companies work, if you go over their head, this will likely fail.

What if the bosses boss tolerate destructive behaviours? Sometimes companies look the other way for managers who are producing irrespective of the damage those people are creating for other employees.

So, in that case its time for a career evaluation.

Try to transfer to another department or start on your resume. Just that mental commitment to get out provides some relief from the stress.

Reframe the situation while you are in it. Take a different perspective.  Get into an emotional space where the bad boss experience isnt sucking you dry all day long. By reframing how we see them, or by really looking at the abusive person (for instance often a bullying boss is very insecure) we can change outcomes.  If you change the way you look at things, the things that you look at change. Ultimately, no one can take away our choices for happiness or success.

In the end if you quit or get pushed out – sometimes there are beautiful silver linings. Some people who have lost their jobs have gone on to create companies that are very successful – created simply out of a need to do so.

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